yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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