but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize