he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Bring me that man meat
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm too high and old for this...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
