My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
