I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
