We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
