Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
