Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
