With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
