Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm always down for nudity.
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