first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
