i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
