My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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