He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
As shirtless as possible
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
