at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
