sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize