Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
my shit smells like andre
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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