"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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