the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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