I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
