She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I can't turn off my feet"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
