I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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