I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
