i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
