Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
