Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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