somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize