Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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