I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
My dick has a subreddit
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
