haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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