Sry I called you an 8
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Randomize
