He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
