what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
