I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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