There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
