I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
