do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
