their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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