I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
