guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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