he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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