hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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