The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
