U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
two words: eviction party
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize