He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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