she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
