ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
