that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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