It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
