a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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