ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
