I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
