Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
