im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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