i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
