Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
