I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
