I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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