Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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