somebody snuck up and got me drunk
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
you had me at cake vodka
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
