He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
