4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
